Monday 18 July 2016

On Chidhood Friendship

Catching up, after more than 30 years, with a favourite childhood friend - Karen Corbett, has me pondering the magic of childhood friendships....Why are they so special? How are they different from adult friendships? As children, what qualities do we bring to relationships? How do we change, and how do our relationships change, with Time?

Karen was a Christmas Holiday friend, throughout my school years. For six weeks each year, during the summer school holidays, my family camped next door to her family's holiday house, and, during that time we were together for as much of the day as our generous parents allowed. My mother's rules were that I was not to go to Karen's house until Mrs Corbett opened the back door in the morning, and I was to be home before dark, for dinner. Apart from these restrictions, we moved freely and smoothly through our days, playing games, exploring, planning adventures, building cubby houses in the bush, swimming in the lake - enjoying almost total freedom.

I recall that there was a fleeting shyness at the first meeting each summer, lasting no longer than a minute or so, until some subconscious assessment was made and we were confident that nothing had changed between us. Then we settled into the easy, comfortable companionship that characterised our friendship and transported us through our summer days. We were so "in tune" that it was as though we had just one mind, with just one idea and one possible activity for the moment. There was never any conflict or resistance, no jostling for power, and no dominant personality dictating the rules. We enjoyed all the same activities in a completely non-competitive way (although it was very clear that Karen was way better at sand modelling than I was!) I'm sure there was the healthy competitiveness of trying to win particular board games, but only so far as it enhanced the enjoyment of the game.

In such a strong childhood friendship no judgements are made; there is no critical appraisal; none of the jealousy or envy that comes with competitive comparisons. As children, we were not self-consciousness about our appearance; in fact, there was no real awareness of the body at all - nor conscious appreciation of the body as a means of transport, a vehicle to enable play, as well as the carrying out of ideas and activities. Looks and body shape are simply irrelevant. There is just total acceptance of one's friend, and contentment in being together. It was not possible to be together too much; not possible to get sick of each other.

Time apart was not painful in any way, either, because there was the lingering joy of the day spent together and the happy anticipation of the same again tomorrow.

Such a friendship precludes the boredom, loneliness, lack of motivation that children can feel when they are alone. Such a friend is truly a soulmate. The joy of such a friendship endures forever, and the knowledge that we can be a true friend, and be truly valued as a friend consolidates a measure of self-esteem.

After those childhood years, our paths took their separate directions - to work, to marriage, to children, to divorce, to new relationships, to distant locations - and did not cross again, until Karen made the effort to track me down. She succeeded, after finding my sister on Facebook. We live now in different states but managed to meet while both visiting children in the UK. Our holidays overlapped by just four days, and we spent two of those days together, with Karen's husband, Bill.

This time, as adults, there was no initial shyness. Being with a true friend is like putting on a comfortable pair of slippers - it just feels good. As adults, too, there is an understanding that our circumstances make it unlikely that we'll spend much time together in the future - there are various demands on out time and energy, but perhaps we can plan a future visit to our children together and take time for an adventure or two of our own.

 

Sunday 1 June 2014

Nice, in May

Arrived in Nice, at the airport, at 2.30pm, after a pleasant 3-hour bus trip from Genoa, on iDBUS. Caught a 98 bus to the the old town for €6 and found my way to my Airbnb apartment in Rue Gioffredo. Lovely! Some pics of my time here:

Genoa to Nice: €15

 

Nice and Promenade des Anglais
Old town

 

The port

 

Cimetiere du chateau

 

Cimetiere du chateau

 

 

 

The port

 

 

 

Musee Marc Chagall

 

 

 

 

Amazing stained glass windows

 

 

This tapestry looks like a watercolour

 

Hailstorm while I had my coffee

 

Place Massena

 

Cathedral

 

 

Lulu's workshops

 

 

Tattoo parlour

 

Cathedral

 

Church in the old town

 

 

Place Massena

 

 

When I leave tomorrow, I catch the 98 bus to the airport, which leaves every 20 minutes from outside the casino on Promenade des Anglais. Thanks, Sophie, for the use of your lovely little apartment!

 

 

 

Saturday 24 May 2014

Memories of Nice.....

July 1986. Louise was eight years old and she and I had travelled by train to Nice from Grenoble, arriving well after midnight. The cab driver couldn't find the address I gave him, so I decided we'd hop out and go it alone. Eerie, wandering through strange, quiet streets, with a child in tow, not really sure what you are looking for. Well, I knew I was looking for an old apartment building, among many, but the higgeldy-piggeldy layout of the area and the lack of straightforward signage made what would have been a fun challenge in broad daylight into a spooky mission.

Of course, we eventually found the right building, and worked through the antiquated locking systems that gave us access to a lovely little apartment - our home for a month.

The apartment belonged to Janice and Albert, an English couple in Grenoble. Janice ran an English language school there and Albert was a nuclear physicist at the International nuclear research facility in Grenoble. I had landed on Janice's doorstep, while door-knocking for English teaching work, just days earlier. That was in June (and only a month after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster).

Janice explained that the school didn't offer Summer programs and, in fact, closed for the months of July and August; but, if I could come back in September, there would be a job for me. I told her I needed to find work before then as I didn't have sufficient funds, and, immediately, she came up with an idea.

"Would it help," she said, "if you stayed in our flat in Nice for a month?" Normally, their daughter lived in the flat but she was away on uni holidays in July, so it was free. "Then," said Janice, "my husband and I always go to Turkey for the month of August, and you could stay in our house." How could I refuse? Janice was enabling my dream: to live and work in France for a while. (I'd randomly chosen Grenoble as the focus of my job-search efforts, by closing my eyes, twirling my finger and pinpointing it on a map of France.) "Come back on Friday and I will give you the keys." Astounding generosity to a stranger!

I went back on Friday, and was introduced to Albert, as Janice handed me the various keys. "Albert, this is the young woman I told you about, who's going to stay in the flat in Nice and then mind our house. What's your name again, dear?" Amazing trust in a stranger!

The apartment in Nice was a lovely space - bright, spotless, well-equipped and nicely decorated. Louise and I settled in comfortably and enjoyed a month of Riviera living, before fulfilling our house-sitting commitment in Grenoble in August. When Janice and Albert returned from Turkey, they offered us the use of a caravan which was sitting in their driveway. I paid to have it towed up to the village of Le Sappey, in the Chartreuse mountains above Grenoble, and Louise and I set up there in the council caravan park. From the end of September, ours was the only van in the park. For a minimal weekly rent, we had stunning views and a well-equipped playground for Louise.

I bought myself a little yellow Fiat to get around. Louise was enrolled, thanks to Albert, at the International School in Grenoble - set up for the children of foreign scientists, so I would drive her down the hill to the school bus stop on my way to work - or, eventually, Greg would.

Greg came over and joined us for the last few months, picking up plenty of handyman work, by word of mouth. He specialised in paint 'n' papering as he didn't need much in the way of tools for those jobs. He was able to help Albert with renovation projects at the English School, too. After classes, Janice would bring in pizzas and we'd all settle in for the evening, while Greg and Albert worked. Janice and Albert were always cheerful, pleasant company - and so kind.

Winter came and we found ourselves well and truly snowed in. Although I had parked the van quite close to the amenities block, it was still a freezing cold walk to the toilet, through a foot of snow. Showering became unpleasant too; the building was unheated and the hot water from the shower rose had turned cold by the time it reached my body. Greg managed well, being tall, but poor Louise had no hope. She and I began to bathe in a basin in the van. I started dreaming of camping on tropical islands and eating freshly-caught fish for breakfast. I also realised soon after that I was pregnant. New beginnings. It was time to think about going home.....

Visiting Nice again now, I find my memory fails me. I don't recall exactly where the apartment was, or the streets we walked each day. But it's nice to be here. It is a beautiful, sophisticated city, but it has kept its heart; the old town is a living, breathing, French residential district - not just a tourist trap as many quaint areas become these days. Louise, as a little girl, is very much "present" with me here. I can picture her pulling her little custom-made dolly trolley down to the beach each day to watch the beach volleyball games with me, calling down to the neighbour's little girl to join her to play in the courtyard, playing with the cats in the apartment building, drawing her diary pictures.....

I hear that Janice and Albert, now retired, are still living in Grenoble. I'm sure they don't realise that they are the heroes of my favourite travel story, teased, of course, from a much bigger story. I must contact them......

 
 

 

Wednesday 21 May 2014

Levanto (Liguria, Italy)

I arrived at Genoa airport at 12.20pm and by 12.30 pm I was on a bus to the railway station (€6). It was all super fast and unstressful - even passport control and customs. (Mind you, even the grimmest-faced Italian official would fail to intimidate, sitting at a counter with the sign "TUTTI PASSEPORTI" - serious, uppercase, bold font notwithstanding.) There is a manned Tourist Information desk (joy of joys!) in the Arrivals Hall, where I got my info and my ticket, and was told to hop on that bus there and stay on till the last stop (Stazione Brignole). Perfect!

At the station, I bought a ticket for €9 to Levanto, a trip of just over an hour. My Airbnb accommodation was an easy 10-min walk from the station, and such a nice place to arrive at.

L'erba persa - my Airbnb accommodation in Levanto
Breakfast room at the farm house
The first afternoon, I explored the waterfront and later, had dinner with some other Dutch guests - with a car! We drove to the next charming seaside village to the north, Bonassola, wandered around for a bit checking out restaurants, but eventually decided to eat back here in Levanto at the Acqua Dolce restaurant in the camping ground - recommended by our hosts. Lovely food and good prices!
Levanto

 

Levanto

 

Cafe della Rose, Bonassola

Next day, I did a circuit walk from Levanto to another neighbouring village, Monterosso, which is the first of the Cinque Terre villages. (Paths 1, 10 and 14) Strolled through the old, quaint part of town before heading back to Levanto by a mountain track.

Levanto, through the olive trees
Towards Monterosso
Monterosso
Monterosso
Monterosso
Monterosso - "modern" beach
Old town, Monterosso

 

Levanto
Next day, I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with some American guests and then left to walk as much of the Cinque Terre as possible. I caught a train to Monterosso and then walked to Vanazza. The park official who took my €7.50 fee, advised that the whole coastal path from Vanazza to Riomaggiore was closed, due to rock slides, but that a mountain path from Vanazzo to Corniglia was open. I enquired about this path in Vanazzo and was told to just use the coastal path for that section. Yay! So, I got to walk two of the four sections.
Monterosso
Lemons, olives and Monterosso

 

 

 

Vanazza

 

Vanazza
Vanazza to Corniglia

 

Corniglia

 

 

Corniglia

 

Harbour, Corniglia
Corniglia station, with Manarola in background

On my last day, I took a train to Riomaggiore (€2.40) and walked from there to Portovenere - beautiful! (Paths 3a, 3 and 1.) I had planned to catch the 5pm boat back to Levanto but it wasn't running due to swell; so, having to abort my plan, I adopted the itinerary of a group of UK Ramblers I'd met on the last leg of the walk and followed them - to the 4.10pm ferry to La Spezia (€5) and then to the railway station. My train back to Levanto cost just €3.40.

 
Riomaggiore station
Riomaggiore station
The path winds through the village

 

Main Street, Riomaggiore
 
The trail leads through the village
Don't go right; go straight

 

Riomaggiore
 
Main Street, Riomaggiore
Harbour, Riomaggiore
 
Not right - straight ahead!
Long, steep climb out of Riomaggiore

 

Beautiful, wild path
 
 

 

Looking back at all the Cinque Terre villages
 
 

 

To Telegrafo
 
Long, steep climb from Riomaggiore
Campiglia, with view of La Spezia

 

Campiglia
 
Campiglia

 

La Spezia
 
Campiglia

 

Campiglia
 
Looking back at all the Cinque Terre villages

 

 

 

Portovenere
 

 

 
Portovenere

 

Church of St Peter
 

 

 
Looking back towards the path I walked

Next stop - Nice. Caught a train from Levanto to Genova Príncipe (€9) and, right outside the station, is the main bus station. My iDBUS fare cost €15 but that was a promotional price. Very comfortable 4-hour ride to the airport at Nice; then a €6 bus ride to the Old Town. Now, a jus d'orange at the Jazz Cafe while I work out where my Airbnb apartment is.....